Wedge and Biggs: It's a Tough Life
"Look this isn't healthy. They're going to cut you off and give you the band of shame..." Wedge attempted to arrest his comrade from his bottle of Lasan Reserve.
"Look here!" Biggs swatted away Wedge's hand and shakily poured himself another glass. "I worked my arse off for that job! Ten years of sweat, blood, and tears for what?!!" He downed the brown liquor and coughed. "Nothing! That's what! Dammit that was my only ticket out of that miserable town and then you came along and ruined it!"
"I think there's a lot of misplaced hate here sir. Do you want to talk about this?"
"No I do not want to talk about this! Especially with you! You good for nothing weak excuse of a soldier! Did I ask for much Wedge? Did I?! And yet every time I needed you to back me up, you failed me! Look at us now! Kicked out of the Galbadian army and drinking our woes away at this cheap bar."
"Well uh sir...we weren't kicked out. We resigned. Cause... you know... it sucked sir."
"There you go again! If you weren't such a baby, then maybe we would have beat those brats!"
"I thought you fought splendidly sir..." lied Wedge. In truth, neither him nor Biggs was particularly trained to fight. Wedge had spent most of his time in the army as an orderly to higher officers until he was assigned to Major Biggs. Biggs didn't really talk about his skills and Wedge suspected, after observing him in combat, that fighting was not one of them. He had no idea how either of them were assigned to some crazy-ass dangerous mission in Dollet, but here they were, drinking in a bar somewhere in Esthar after resigning from the Galbadian army. Wedge was actually quite relieved about this turn of events since it meant he would no longer have to deal with people yelling at him and things had been getting progressively more dangerous. The last assignment in the Lunatic Pandora was especially treacherous with all kinds of crazy running around that place.
Wedge's thoughts turned to that of home- a nice quiet bed in the attic of his parents' home. As the second youngest of four, Wedge had lived in the attic and taken care of his younger sister, Wendy. The other two siblings, Mina and Wynn, shared a room and his parents slept in the master bedroom. All in all, it was rather cozy and Wedge had certainly got a bit wanderlust as he grew older. "When did I last see them? Has it been two years now?"
"What?! I'm perfectly fine! See!?" Biggs was arguing with the bartender over the band of shame. "Well fine we were leaving weren't we Wedge!?" bellowed Biggs as he tried to stand up. He promptly fell and knocked himself out.
Wedge jumped up and shook his unconscious comrade. "Biggs? Biggs! Biggggs!"
The bartender squinted at Wedge and then said gruffly, "Take your unconscious friend and leave!"
Looking sheepishly around at the other patrons, Wedge attempted to lift Biggs. "Dammit Biggs, wake up!" Failing to lift Biggs, Wedge was forced to drag his friend out of the bar. "Why do I have to drag your fat ass across Esthar? Do you have any flippin idea how big this city is?!" Wedge managed to get Biggs propped against a curb and then plopped down next to his buddy.
"You know...I grew up with three sisters. I never really had a close guy friend. I think my sisters scared the other boys away. When I was seventeen, I left home and joined the Galbadian army. It was all new and exciting at the time, but I didn't really fit in with the other recruits. It was like they had some sort of giant inside joke that I didn't understand. Anyway, I didn't really make any friends in the army and even though I was surrounded by people, I felt really alone. I tried my best to serve the officers I was assigned to, but I never could seem to make the grade with them. Maybe I just wanted to be acknowledge by someone. Anyways, I used to hate you because you always said things were my fault and said I was stupid and such, but at least you wanted me to help out. So maybe you didn't see me as a friend...more of a nuisance, but I started to think of you as a friend..." Wedge looked up at the night sky and the eerie blood moon. "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. I guess it didn't work out for me either. But I still feel guilty about this crappy situation and I want to help you get home. So Biggs old buddy, I'm sticking around whether you like it or not."
Biggs was walking home from work when a group of young adolescents drove up in their fancy red sports car. "Look it's Biggs! Hey! When's the last time you took a bath!? You smell like chocoshit!" Biggs felt a can hit his backpack. "You're so stupid! You can't even dodge a can! What a moron!" The car sped off and Biggs found himself once again alone. Sighing, he adjusted his backpack and kept walking. Ever since he could remember, Biggs had been "mediocre". His teachers would sigh as they handed him his test back. His coach would sigh as he sat on the bench. His friends would sigh as he tried to catch up with them on their hikes. If only he was as fast as Dennis or as good at Triple Triad as Ripley. Then maybe he could have impressed Camilla and asked her to the dance.
Camilla was everything he was not. Talented, smart, and beautiful, Camilla was the darling of the small school Biggs attended. She had graduated as the valedictorian of their class and went on to college and graduate school to become a chocobo veterinarian. Meanwhile Biggs found work as a hired hand on a chocobo farm. Despite both of them working with chocobos, it was like they were worlds apart. He might as well be working on the moon.
"Dammit! Why do I have to be so...mediocre!? Why can't I be somebody? Why can't I be something? Am I just going to spend the rest of my life in this backwater village? Is this all there is?" yelled Biggs at the moon. "Not like that's going to do much good," he thought. As he passed a bus stop, he noticed a poster on the side of a tall muscular man in a red suit with polished armor. He wore a can of beansy smile on his face as if to say "Hell yes I am". A caption below said simply: "Join the Galbadian Army!" Biggs stopped and stared at the poster. He imagined himself in a scarlet military uniform with bright armor and that same can of beansy smile. He imagined giving orders to punks and telling them how things were supposed to get done. He have money and women would be impressed with his rank and swanky clothes. He'd impress them with his tales of heroism on the battlefield. Then he would be something- something big. He thought about how he would come back to visit his backwoods town with a beautiful wife hugging his arm and then those assholes would be envious of him and his life. The thought warmed his heart and he smirked. He'd show all these people once and for all that Biggs was not some loser, but better than them all. Then they would be the ones wanting to be like him. "Just you wait. When I return, I'll be somebody!"
watching this with interest. I like there it is heading
Happy birthday Emily Wong
Biggs awoke to a magnificent headache and a sore back. The headache was from the copious amounts of alcohol had consumed last night and the sore back was from sleeping on the weird walkways that stretched across Esthar. Blinking a couple times, he looked over to see Wedge passed out and snoring loudly. Locals were walking by and for the most part ignoring the pathetic spectacle gracing their commute to work.
"Wedge? Wedge. You partied too hard last night. Dammit, wake up!" He punched Wedge in the arm.
"Owww, you punched me in the arm! Why would you do that?" cried Wedge as he writhed in pain.
Biggs sighed and got up. "Maybe you shouldn't be such a weenie and it wouldn't hurt so much."
"Maybe you shouldn't be such a meanie and punch your junior officer, sir!" retorted Wedge. "Is there a restroom around here? I need to pee bad."
"Same here." Biggs looked around at the walkways and below them a multitude of smaller buildings with their aqua blue panels. "Nope I don't see anything and I can't be bothered to find one. I'm just gonna piss over the edge of this walkway here." He casually sauntered to the edge of the translucent walkway and unzipped his scarlet cargo pants.
"Sir! Is that wise sir?!"
"It's organic and sterile. What's the worst that could happen?" Biggs glanced at the stream falling off into the distance. "Damn this is the best piss ever- I could just go on forever."
"Think of the children sir!"
"Feels good man"
"Wedge! How much money do we have left?" Biggs and Wedge found themselves at a local grocery trying to scrape together enough money to buy a cheap breakfast.
Emptying his pockets, Wedge found a couple of coins and a bit of lint. "100 gil sir!"
"Well what's that going to get us?"
"A potion sir!" Wedge held up the ubiquitous flask which encapsuled a viscous blue liquid. "Only 100 gil!"
Biggs groaned. "A potion isn't going to quiet the grumblies. We need some real money here Wedge."
"How about we join the Esthar Defence Force? They're paying a bounty for each monster slain." Wedge pointed to a poster with a Esthar soldier valiantly slaying a tonberry. "Looks like they have good pay."
Biggs rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "I can't think when you're prattling with your hair-brained plans Wedge. What we should do is...hmmmm..." He glanced at the poster. "Ah I got it. We were soldiers- we could totally join the Esthar Defence Force and get paid to fight monsters."
"Thats...nevermind." Wedge shook his head. "Hey! That's our only potion!"
"Too bad" Biggs tossed the now empty flask on the walkway where it shattered much to the pedestrians' dismay. "Damn that hit the spot. So refreshing and full of energy."
Wedge whimpered quietly.
This was dope! First of all, it's a FF8 fic, so it instantly gets points. But it feels so organic and real, that I felt like I was watching a really good show. And don't think I didn't catch the Worlds Apart pun. Very awesome.
This is really good. I'm looking forward to more posts with great interest.
This post was smuggled in from Mexico by Rinoa's Man; 19 Jan 17 at 04:27.
"Welcome to the Sector Seven Esthar Neighborhood Defence Force. This meeting will now come to order." A rather pasty looking man with a scrappy mustache pounded a gavel.
"Neighborhood Defence Force? Sounds more like a neighborhood watch," whispered Biggs as they took a seat in the back. There were about twenty or so people seated in the room. Up front was a blue translucent podium and behind it was a rather huge poster of Esthar's current president, Laguna Loire, smiling at what appeared to be the sky.
"Colonel Tarn Yarlsberg will now give a speech on the current situation in Sector Seven," said the man before ceding the podium to an older heavy set man with what appeared to be several medals on his jacket.
"Ahem... As you know, the Lunar Cry has really increased incidents in the area and we need to increase patrols in our sector to keep the neighborhood safe. As someone who has spent over ten years in the Esthar Defence Force, I will plan the strategy in taking down these monsters with the utmost efficiency-" He looked up to see Biggs waving his hand. "Yes you, question?"
"Yeah uh, no offence, but is this a real military operation? I mean have any of you actually served in the military?"
Colonel Tarn scowled and said, "Well as I was saying, I've been part of the Esthar Defence Force for over ten years now and-"
"This is a branch of the military? You've got to be joking. This is like parent teacher conferences at school. Look at that smuck over there-" Biggs pointed to a rather corpulent balding man eating a hotdog. "Bet he probably spends his weekends watching chocobo racing and the only action he gets is from his wife after the kids are on a playdate at the neighbors. He probably couldn't kill a Bite Bug if his life depended on it."
"Oh yeah? Well who made you the commissioner of this outfit? You're dressed up in that stupid Galbadian cosplay. What are you a Galbadophile?"
"No, I'm a real soldier in the Galbadian army!"
"Well I have you know that I participated in over twenty joint Defence Force operations and have over confirmed Turtapod kills! I eat punks like you for breakfast! You are dirt! You are nothing! I will end you!" bellowed Tarn. "Come up here and let me show you! I double dog dare you!"
Wedge looked up at Biggs and shook his head. "Come on Biggs, let it go man. We need the money. My tummy's got the grumblies..."
"Dammit, I wasn't in the army for twelve years to get yelled at by this fatass," growled Biggs. "I'll take that dare. Bring it on old man!" Biggs rolled up his sleeves and rushed the podium.
"Damn you fight good old man," said Biggs as he held an icepack to his head. "Punching me in the ear. That's dirty."
"You don't fight to bad either. Reminds me of the Bite infestation of..." Tarn's voice trailed off as he adjusted the ice pack on his groin. "Knee ball buster...that's a classic. Name's Tarn Yarlsberg." He held out a hand.
Biggs shook it. "Name's Biggs. I was a major in the Galbadian army until recently."
"Well we could use a couple of good men. Who's this guy?" Tarn pointed to Wedge who was attempting to search under the drink vending machine for any spare change.
"Doesn't matter. Let's talk about more important things- specifically how much does this job pay?"
"Well we mostly volunteer, but we split any bounties if we run across monsters."
"Bounties?" Biggs's eyes gleamed and a smile crept across his face. "Now you're talking. How much are we talking?"
"The government sets bounties for any monsters in the city. Range is based on the difficulty of the monster. From twenty gil a bite bug to a whopping 10,000 gil for a behemoth."
"Well what are we waiting for?! Wedge! Gather the supplies! We're going monster hunting!"
"What supplies sir?"
"...You dare question me?"
"Well let's get going!"
Biggs was back in command and he was loving it. "Squad B leader reporting in." He adjusted his microphone slightly. "Alrighty, this is more like it." He checked the safety on his assault rifle. "Not quite like the standard issue Galbadian weapons, but she'll do." He patted the upper receiver. "I shall call you Eleanor..."
"Excuse me, is this Squad B?" Biggs looked up to see a middle aged man with a scruffy beard standing in front of him. He extended his hand, "Name's Luke."
"Luke huh?" Biggs frowned at the man. "I was unaware of this."
"Yeah Tarn said you guys needed a third for your squad."
"Well I guess you can tag along. Don't get in the way though."
"Don't worry about me. You worry about those monsters."
"Yeah..." Biggs felt like this way going to end horribly. Aside from Wedge who appeared somewhat indestructible, it seemed like everyone under his command ended up getting killed by SeeD or monster or all of the above.
Wedge walked up with his sword and an extra case of ammo. "Hey Biggs! Who's this guy? Is he part of our squad? Hey new guy, what's your name?"
"Name's Luke. And you?"
"My name is Wedge. That's Biggs. He's our squad leader. We've been through a lot together."
Biggs got up and grabbed the case of ammo. "Hey, let's cut the chatter. Squad B move out!"
A series of small hovering seats shot across the spacious Esthar walkways in formation. Three squadmembers were seated on each hover-chair. Biggs squinted at the building they were approaching. He glanced down at the map and then back at the building. Sector Seven Esthar Neighborhood Defence Force was tasked with taking out the monsters in the buildings which had overrun the are during the lunar cry.
"Look sharp squad, we're coming in hot," said Tarn over the communications system. "This is it boys!" The hover-chairs sped up to nearly 10 kmph and they closed the distance to the building.
"I'm going in!" yelled Wedge as the approached and promptly flung himself off the hover-chair.
Biggs looked behind him to see Wedge sprawled out on the walkway. "What the hell Wedge? Get back here!" he yelled as the hover chair came to a stop and he and Luke disembarked.
Wedge got up and quickly ran toward his other two squadmates. "Sorry! I don't know what I was thinking."
"Alright whatever. Let's do just get this done and get our paycheck," said Biggs as he flicked the safety off on his assault rifle. "Wedge take point!"
"Yes sir!" Wedge drew his sword and scrambled over some collapsed building. He heard a rather familiar cry and looked up to see several Buels hover in the air above him. Their triple wings and hideous faces were all he needed to see to know to take cover. "BUELS!" he yelled as he dove behind a rock.
"What was that?" asked Luke as he readied what appeared to be a large stick. He looked up to see a Buel cast a fireball at him. The flames shot past him and impacted on the walkway behind him. The force sent him sprawling.
"Are you okay Luke?" asked Biggs.
"I got a little cooked but I'm okay," replied Luke as he waved away the smoke.
"Biggs! A little help!" yelled Wedge as he scurried back to where Biggs and Luke were located.
Biggs raised his rifle and began firing at the buels. "Go! I'll cover for you!" His arc of bullets intersected a buel and its lifeless body fluttered into the ground. The other buels took notice and began casting spells in Biggs's direction. Biggs dodged the fireballs and dove behind a section of wall. Reloading his gun, he waited for the fireballs to clear overhead before opening fire again. The two remaining buels collapsed as Biggs's fire found its mark. Looking around he didn't see his squadmates"Luke? Wedge? Where did you two go?"
Sorry guys, I'm back. Went on a little vacation down south.
I find the old man, Tarn, hilarious. Classic "I respect you after fighting you" approach. Being part of this Defense Force doesn't seem too profitable if you're not willing to take risk.
Biggs scanned the building in front of him. It looked very much like the other Esthar buildings with its somewhat translucent blue panels set in bone-white stone. However, some of the panels were cracked and the stone was scorched and chipped. Perhaps most disconcerting was the massive hole where the front entrance was supposed to be. Something had broken into the building. Something absolutely massive.
Walking into the building, Biggs found the rest of Sector Seven Esthar Neighborhood Defence Force in the front lobby. "Hey weaklings, what's the holdup?"
Tarn motioned to keep his voice down. "There's a King Behemoth in the main atrium. It hasn't seen us and I'd rather it stay that way."
"Hah! You think something like a King Behemoth is going to slow us down?" laughed Biggs.
Tarn looked at him like he was crazy. "Do you know what a King Behemoth is?"
Biggs snorted, "Child please. I've fought King Behemoths before. Practically earned my first promotion killing a whole family of them. They used to call me the Kingslayer! Squad B, let's roll out!"
Tarn saluted Biggs. "Good fortune! My hats off to you sir!" He looked at the rest of the troops. "Fall back boys and girls! Squad B's gonna take down this King Behemoth!"
"Hells yes we are. Let's do this Wedge! Wedge?" Biggs frowned at Wedge who was standing in the corner with a strange look on his face.
"We should probably save the game before we move forward..."
"What did you just say?"
"What? You're the one saying weird things!"
"I don't know what you're saying. Let's just get this over."
Biggs rolled his eyes and motioned to Luke. "You ready?"
"I've never killed a behemoth, let alone a King Behemoth..." mused Luke.
"There's a first time for everything Luke."
"So what's the plan?" asked Wedge as Squad B crept through a corridor to the main atrium. "I assume we have a plan?"
Biggs sighed and turned to look at Wedge. "Yeah, we kill this monster no problem."
"The King Behemoth is considered one of the most powerful monsters around..." stated Luke.
"Nobody needs to hear that. Lets keep some optimism guys," said Biggs as they finally entered the atrium.
"Look at the size of that thing!" exclaimed Wedge as he gazed up at the massive behemoth. Its back was toward them and they could see its massive spiked tail twitching as the beast made snorting noises. "I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Okay, let's do this!" Biggs raised his assault rifle and started firing into the monster's back. Unsurprisingly, the bullets ricocheted of the tough hide of the behemoth and merely caused the creature to turn around in annoyance to see what was irritating its back. "Uh oh..."
"Uh...okay I think we should retreat," said Wedge as the beast roared and glared at them.
"Retreat? In our moment of triumph?! Go out there and earn your living Wedge!" yelled Biggs as he reloaded his gun. "At least distract him or something."
Wedge ran out and rolled under a tail swipe from the king behemoth. Drawing his sword, he sized up his opponent. "Yeah I'm going to die," Wedge muttered as he dodged one of the behemoth's massive claws. He spun around and sliced into the thick hide. The behemoth howled in pain and rose to trample Wedge.
Raising his rifle, Biggs aimed at the behemoth's more vulnerable stomach and pulled the trigger. The monster roared and gave Wedge just enough time to back away before the behemoth slammed its claws where moments before he was standing. "Yeah get some you purple bastard!" The king behemoth turned his head and flicked his tail in Biggs's direction. Even though it just grazed Biggs, the behemoth's tail sent Biggs sprawling across the atrium.
"Biggs!" cried Wedge as he watched his friend crumple against a wall. He tried to run toward Biggs, but the creature charged and blocked his path. "Okay, so this is how it ends huh?" Wedge slowly drew his sword. "You hurt my friend. Nobody hurts my friend."
Biggs had a generalized feeling of hurt. Looking out across the atrium, he thought he saw a sort of light emanating from Wedge as he stood before the king behemoth, his sword raised in defiance as the creature prepared to charge him. "Wedge..." The image blurred and Biggs lost consciousness.
This post was smuggled in from Mexico by C.W.; 5 Feb 17 at 11:32.
Biggs sighed and grabbed a stack of papers. The words sort of blurred together. He'd been tasked with filing the last two quarters of safety reports because the last two turds had conveniently forgot. Now the annual officers gala was in full swing and Biggs was here in the office, burning the midnight oil. To say Biggs had been expecting the gala was a bit of an understatement. Newly promoted to Captain, Biggs had been eagerly awaiting the event to show off his still shiny triple stars. He had heard rumors that the ladies were all quite comely and quite agreeable especially toward newly minted captains. But instead of being smothered by attractive women, he was being smothered by paperwork. “Dammit! Why me?! Why me?!!” he yelled to the heavens. “One time! Just one time I'd like to be a winner!”
A soldier walked into Biggs's office and saluted. “Uh Second Lieutenant Wedge reporting for duty!”
“Not now! Can't you see I'm busy!?” yelled Biggs gesturing to his stack of papers.
“Can I get you something sir?” responded Wedge with another salute.
“Don't you understand! I'm busy!”
“Yes sir!” Wedge about faced and marched out of the office.
“Wait! Can you fetch me a coffee?”
Wedge stopped and without turning asked, “Dark sir?”
“One cream please.”
Biggs sighed and turned back to organizing reports. He had about two months of reports completed and figured maybe in another two hours he could get another two months complete which would leave him with only two and half months... His mind drifted off to another dance many years ago where he walked up to the front door of Camilla with a single red rose and nervously asked her to the dance. He could remember how her eyes looked sympathetic as she said she'd already been asked to the dance by Dennis before closing the door. The rose had slipped from his hands and he walked away totally deflated. “I was probably just some guy. Just a loser. I wish she could have seen me for my good parts like Dennis's track trophies.” Biggs sighed and felt slightly pathetic that even after all these years it still hurt a little. Maybe that's what really bothered him. After all these years and all that hard work, he was still an outsider to the popular group. Unappreciated for his contributions and talents- whatever they were. Being left out of the officer's gala was just another cruel kick from the world.
Wedge marched in with a thermos of coffee and a pair of mugs. “Sir! Your coffee.” He set the mugs down and began to pour a cup for Biggs.
“Who ordered you in here?! Get out!” roared Biggs and waved his hand at Wedge. His hand struck Wedge's arm and coffee splattered over the desk and reports. “Dammit! Look what you did! You dumbass! Get out of here!” Wedge whimpered as he tried to get the scalding coffee off his sleeve while exiting out of Bigg's office as expediently as possible.
Biggs locked the door looked his desk. “Why the hell did he bring two mugs? Did he think he was going to drink a cup of coffee with me?”
Biggs regained consciousness to find himself in a hospital bed. A drape divider provided some modest privacy. Judging by the expanse of buildings and walkways from the window next to his bed, he assumed he was still somewhere in Esthar. “I wonder if we killed that monster...” His memory felt fuzzy and he vaguely thought he remembered Wedge glowing. “Wedge... I hope you're okay...wherever you are.”
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